By Jonathan Moser
Most mornings, my working day begins at my mother’s kitchen table. I open my laptop, respond to emails and take calls for my property management business. At the same time, I might be arranging a prescription, preparing for an appointment or dealing with one of the unexpected situations that come with dementia.
My mother is 87 and living with the condition. I am 61, running and growing a business while helping to care for her. Like many people in this position, I do not always think of myself as a carer. I am simply a son doing what needs to be done.
That is one reason World Alzheimer’s Month matters. Held every September, with World Alzheimer’s Day taking place on 21 September, it encourages greater understanding of Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia while challenging the stigma surrounding them. It should also prompt us to recognise the enormous contribution made by family members who provide unpaid care alongside their jobs.
Dementia does not respect diaries, deadlines or working hours. You cannot always plan for a parent becoming confused, distressed or suddenly needing help. A quick trip to the pharmacy can turn into several hours of phone calls and appointments. You may be trying to concentrate on a meeting while wondering whether your parent is safe.
The practical demands are only one part of it. There is also guilt. When I am working, part of me feels I should be doing more for my mother. When I am caring for her, I am conscious of the calls I have not returned and the decisions waiting to be made. It can feel as though neither part of your life is receiving your full attention.
This experience is not unique to business owners. Employees across every sector are balancing work with caring for parents, partners and other relatives. Some will speak openly about their responsibilities, while others may not use the word “carer” at all. They may also worry that telling their employer will affect how committed or capable they are perceived to be.
Research from Carers UK shows the consequences this can have. Thirty-five per cent of working carers have reduced their hours, while 21% have accepted a lower-paid or more junior role that fits better around their caring responsibilities. Behind those figures are experienced people whose skills, confidence and financial security may be gradually eroded, not because they want to stop working, but because work and care have become increasingly difficult to reconcile.
Employers can make an enormous difference. Compassionate management, flexible hours, the ability to work remotely where appropriate and understanding when an emergency occurs can help people remain productive without feeling they must hide what is happening at home. Sometimes, simply being able to have an honest conversation removes a significant source of stress.
However, employers cannot provide the entire answer. Public-sector organisations also have an important role to play by making support easier to understand and access. Carers often find themselves dealing with GPs, hospitals, pharmacies, adult social care teams and care providers, repeating the same information and trying to coordinate services that do not always connect easily.
Many of the people navigating these systems are also trying to hold down jobs or run businesses. Clear information, joined-up communication, flexible appointment options and early access to carers’ assessments and respite services can reduce the burden considerably. Public services are already supporting families in extremely difficult circumstances, and building on this work can help more carers remain economically active and protect their own wellbeing. But how can we support carers to make it easier?
Here I share some practical ways to support people who work and care:
· Make it easier to speak openly: Employers can encourage people to discuss caring responsibilities without worrying that it will damage their career prospects.
· Offer practical flexibility: Flexible hours, remote working and temporary adjustments can help carers manage appointments and unexpected emergencies.
· Create a clear carers’ policy: Employees should know what leave, flexibility and workplace support are available before they reach crisis point.
· Train managers: A supportive manager who understands the unpredictable nature of dementia can make a significant difference.
· Improve signposting: Employers and public-sector organisations can connect carers with assessments, respite care, financial guidance and local support services.
· Make services easier to navigate: Clear information, joined-up communication and flexible appointment options can reduce the time and stress involved in arranging care.
· Protect carers’ wellbeing: Carers should be encouraged to take breaks, maintain their own routines and ask for help before exhaustion becomes burnout.
· Recognise that every family is different: Dementia affects people in different ways, so meaningful support should always begin by listening to what the individual carer needs.
Working is very important financially and mentally to many people, including me. It provides income, purpose and an identity beyond caring. I do not want to be defined only by my mother’s dementia, just as she should not be defined solely by her diagnosis. Maintaining routines, staying active and continuing to grow my business all help me manage an unpredictable situation.
This World Alzheimer’s Month, we should recognise that supporting unpaid carers is a shared responsibility. Employers, public services, families and communities all have a part to play. With greater understanding and practical support, people should not have to choose between earning a living and caring for someone they love.
You can read more of my blogs at moliving.co.uk/#insights
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